


Somewhere Only We Know

by sullacat



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Family, Forced Marriage, M/M, Reboot, Romance, The Inner Light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-03
Updated: 2011-06-03
Packaged: 2017-10-20 02:35:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/207860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sullacat/pseuds/sullacat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Spock and McCoy find themselves thrust into a new world and a new life. Can they work together to find their way home - or is being lost the best thing that ever happened to them?</i> Reboot of Star Trek: The Next Generation episode 'The Inner Light'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Somewhere Only We Know

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Trekreversebang](http://trekreversebang.livejournal.com/) on Livejournal. I saw [this beautiful picture](http://jou.dreamwidth.org/3254.html) by Jou of Spock and McCoy under the stars and I knew I had to write about it. I am indebted to my writer's group who held my hand through this. ♥ x 100
> 
> Soundtrack available [here](http://8tracks.com/sullacat/somewhere-only-we-know).

> Without going outside his door, one understands (all that takes place) under the sky; without looking out from his window, one sees the Tao of Heaven. The farther that one goes out (from himself), the less he knows. Therefore the sages got their knowledge without travelling; gave their (right) names to things without seeing them; and accomplished their ends without any purpose of doing so. (Tao Te Ching)

 

"…so they're gonna expand the curriculum, add some of those cultural classes I mentioned. One or two of them admirals are still shaking their heads at crazy Jim Kirk, suggesting more of the soft sciences, but-" Jim looked up from his chair to see his friend gazing out of the large windows of the observation deck. He leaned over to nudge him. "Boring you tonight, Bones?" he grinned, taking another sip of whiskey from his tall glass tumbler. "Shall we wrap up for early, let you get to bed?"

"Sorry, Jim," Leonard shook his head. "I'm fine, just been a long day. Long week, really," he admitted. Stretching his legs, Leonard looked around the mostly empty observation deck. He and Jim met here most nights, for a few minutes and a drink, sometimes longer when they needed to discuss ship's business or some personal problems. It was one of his favorite places - looking out at the stars, despite his fear of open space. Here they seemed to be able to unwind, relax, and let the strain of their jobs wash off of them.

But it wasn't working tonight. "What's on your mind, doc?" Jim pushed a little further. "Bones... c'mon."

"I don't know, Jim. I'm just - feeling a little out of sorts."

Jim leaned back in his chair, following Bones' line of sight, out toward the stars. "That time of year again?" he asked in a knowing voice, taking another sip. "How old is she now?"

Leonard grunted. "Fourteen," he sighed. Another year away from home, another missed birthday. Finishing his drink in one long swig, Leonard winced as he swallowed.

"Bones, its not like you're just off somewhere, fucking around," Jim reminded him. "You're needed here. You're doing important work."

But none of that seemed to sink in. It was a feeling he'd been having lately, something missing in his life, something that went more than just doing a good job. Leonard was about to reply when Jim's communicator went off. "Kirk here."

"Captain," Leonard heard Spock's voice, crisp and cool as always. "Sensors have located an unknown object ahead. It is currently on an intercept course with the _Enterprise_."

"On my way." Jim looked over at Bones. "Come on, this might be interesting."

"Well, it's not like I've got anything else to do, other than work," Leonard grumbled, but he really didn't feel like reviewing medical records right now, so he followed Jim up to the bridge.

"Report," Jim called out as he stepped onto the bridge and toward his chair.

"We have visual confirmation of the object."

"Onscreen. " The room went silent as the view screen filled with the object. "Magnify."

The view screen changed from the expanse of dark space, focusing on a small cylinder,arms extending out of the sides. "Enlarge by twenty percent," Jim said slowly, as Leonard settled into his usual place near the the science console. "What do you see?"

Spock looked up from his own console. "It appears to be a probe, but there is no Starfleet record of this shape or design. The exterior hull is made from a material that does not come up in the Federation databanks."

Hikaru examined the computer screen in front of him. "It's emitting a low level nucleonic beam."

Jim frowned. "Run a level one scan-"

"Captain," Chekov interrupted him. "We are being scanned."

Everyone looked up automatically. Jim stood, and Spock moved to stand behind him. "Shields up."

"Jim," Leonard said quietly as Jim took a step toward the view screen, staring at the glowing pulse coming from the probe. Suddenly a bright light shot out, and the next thing Leonard saw was Spock rushing at Jim, pushing Jim out of the way of the solid beam shining into the ship, aimed straight at the captain.

The beam hit Spock instead. Spock straightened, as if electrocuted, rigid as a board, then fell over onto the floor. "Spock!" Jim screamed, kneeling down at the unconscious man. "Full shields! Red alert!" he called out, looking around at the crew as the alarm began blaring. "Sulu, lock onto that probe, see if you can break that beam."

"It's penetrating our shields, Captain-"

"Wait, Jim," Leonard called out. He dropped down, looking at Spock, pulling out his scanner. "I'm reading an increased level of activity in his neurocortex." He looked up at Jim, face full of concern.

"What are you saying? That he's connected to that thing somehow?"

"I'm saying you might not want to break that beam until I see what's going on." Right at that moment, Spock's body contorted, stiffened, and instinctively Leonard reached out for his shoulder, one hand on his torso.

"Bones!" was the last thing he heard, that stupid nickname ringing in his ears. He looked over at Jim, seeing something he didn't see too often in those blue eyes - fear.

After that, everything went black.

 

* * *

When Leonard opened his eyes, the first thing he did was lift his hand to his face. It was too bright, sun shining in his eyes.

The second thing he did was wonder why the hell he was feeling sunshine on a space ship. Then a hand at his shoulder shook him from his thoughts.

"Oh, there you are! Sleeping, Leannan, at a time like this! I told Savas that you had to be close by. Come," said a man he'd never seen before, reaching a hand out for Leonard. "Elia is hurt."

"What?" he asked, looking over at the man. Middle-aged humanoid, fair skinned, and dressed in old-fashioned clothing. His face was warm, but worried. Spock was standing a few feet behind him, wearing a similar old-fashioned man's suit and a slightly unsettled look on his face.

"Leannan, _come_!" The man reached for Leonard's hand and pulled hard, moving him toward the crowd of people standing around the backyard patio of a large house. "Mina went for your bag already."

"Kaymin?" a voice called out from the patio. "Kaymin, did you find him?"

"I got him," the man yelled back, a worried look on his face as they hurried. "We're coming!"

One more glance at Spock, who hadn't said anything yet, and Leonard allowed himself to be led toward a small group, people kneeling on the ground near what looked like a party scene. "She fell from the tree," a woman with dark hair told him, as she shoved a worn bag at him.

A single look on the ground told Leonard who 'she' was - the body of a small child lay crumpled, her head cradled by another woman. "Leannan," she whispered, tears in her eyes. "Please tell me she's okay."

Leonard stared at her blankly for a moment, then turned to the child. He opened the bag, pulling out some bandages, a bottle, and a small metal device that fit into his hand - but he had no idea what to do with it. _Fuck_ , he thought, turning again to the girl.

Putting the device down, he reached down and touched her skin. Cool to the touch, but it was early evening and not a warm one at that. He lifted her eye lids, nodding as her pupils reacted appropriately. His hand felt behind her neck, across her shoulders, down her torso, palpitating gently until he felt her shift, make a small groan. "She's broken a rib," he said, knowing that instinctively from his years of mending Jim. "But I don't think there are any other broken bones."

He glanced at the house, large and impressive looking, and right now a better place for this little girl. "Let's get her inside." The man who dragged him there, _Kaymin_ , he told himself, picked up the child and carried her in, the rest of the group following. "I don't think there's any head injuries. Are you her mother?" Leonard asked the woman hovering close.

"What? Yes, of course, Leannan," she whispered, touching the little girl's hair. "You know that. You were there when she was born! What's wrong with you?" she asked, her voice slightly hysterical.

The woman with the bag joined his side. "Here," she handed him the scanner. Out of habit, Leonard ran it over the child's head, watching as a series of numbers and symbols were visible on the small screen. "She's got a concussion, but no swelling of the brain," he said automatically, not sure how he managed to read that. "She should be taken to the hospital."

"The medics have been called, Leannan," the woman next to him said. _Mina_ , that was what the man called her. _Elia_ , that was the child. "Elia," he said, running a hand over her head as she fluttered her eyes, asking for her mother, who shifted to the girl's side.

"Thank you so much," she said, her voice full of gratitude. "We're so sorry for this to happen today, of all days."

Everyone was looking at Leonard. Only the lights coming from the front window seemed to get everyone's attention off him. Someone let the medics inside, one of them heading straight toward him to get the medical report. Leonard told them what he knew, and watched as they carted the little girl off on a stretcher. Most of the people left after that, all of them stopping by to say goodbye, shake his hand. Some of them had cleaned up what appeared to be a big party, others just wanted to wish him good luck, offer their apologies for the evening.

Only then, when most of them were gone did he find Spock, leaning against a wall talking to the woman who had brought him the medical bag. "I was just telling the professor that it was such a lovely ceremony." She gave them a guarded smile, as if she could feel the tension and confusion in their air between them. "Well, I'll get out of your hair now. See you in a couple days," she said to Leonard. "Be well," she added, then left, closing the door behind her, leaving the two of them alone.

Leonard waited a moment, then turned to Spock. "What is my name?" he asked, guarded and confused.

Spock leaned back against the wall and paused a long moment before speaking in a very low voice. "I know you as Leonard McCoy, Starfleet officer and chief medical officer of the _Enterprise_."

"Well that makes two of us," he nodded, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders. "But clearly, they think we are someone else." Leonard looked around at the room they were in, nothing remotely familiar. "So that begs the question - where the hell are we?"

Spock shook his head, then motioned for Leonard to follow him. "That is the second question. Our primary objective is to determine who it is who has taken us."

"You think we were kidnapped? They didn't seem the violent type."

"The most convincing captors never are," Spock murmured. Now that he was close, Leonard could see small changes in Spock's appearance. He looked more human than Vulcan, his ears rounded and a rosy tinge to his flush. Spock's eyes were slightly wider, set further apart, and a glance into a hallway mirror told Leonard that his eyes were changed as well.

"Strange captors, leaving us alone here in this house." Leonard took a few steps into the large living room. "Does this house belong to one of us? Professor?"

"One question at a time, Doctor," Spock said softly, as if afraid to speak too loudly. "According to the woman I was speaking with, I currently hold a teaching position at the local university. She works for you in your medical clinic."

"And this house?"

"It belongs to... us." Spock continued walking toward the kitchen.

Leonard stopped short of entering the room. "What do you mean, us?”

Spock looked warily at Leonard. "Follow me." The two men took the few steps into the large kitchen, where most of the food and party decorations had been taken. Leonard's eyes were drawn to a cake, or what was left of it, on the counter. _Congratulations Leannan and Savas_ , it said in some sort of icing script. "Leannan, that's what they keep calling me," he murmured. "Who's Savas?"

"I am," Spock said, reaching out a finger to taste the frosting, his eyebrow arch indicating that he liked it. "This afternoon - this was our bonding ceremony. It would appear, in this world, we are mates. Or at least," he took another taste, "that is their construct for us."

"Mates?" Leonard repeated, incredulous. The idea that they were married somehow in this place - being Spock's mate... that was ridiculous. "You believe someone kidnapped us." Leonard's stomach was tight at the thought of being a prisoner here, even as nice a prison as this appeared to be. "Why would they take us? What do they think we can give them?"

"The beam was aimed at the captain. I stepped in front of him." Spock walked around, opening cabinets and drawers, investigating the contents of the room. "Presumably, they want information he could provide, and constructed an elaborate scenario to convince him that he belonged here." Then he turned, looking at Leonard suspiciously. "But I do not understand why you are here. " Another long pause. "What is the last thing you remember?"

"The beam hit you, and you fell to the floor. I scanned your head, the readings were..." But here the memory got fuzzy. "I touched you."

"You touched me?"

"That is the last thing I remember. " That, and blue eyes, a worried face. Jim.

Spock seemed to accept that answer. "In any event, I am certain that the captain is looking for us. We must be careful not to give away any information regarding anything having to do-"

"I know," Leonard muttered, a little irritated. "So," he asked, looking around suspiciously at the other pictures in the house, seeing his face everywhere, his and Spock's. Fascinating and terrifying. "Gut feeling. What do you make of all this?"

Spock stood straight, considered the room around him, and Leonard before answering. "The chances of both you and I suffering from the same delusional psychosis regarding the _Enterprise_ and our former lives as officers about that ship are..." he paused, looking down. "They are incalculable."

Walking around the house, his foot falls echoed heavily across the wooden floor. "Where here is, well - that is another question."  


* * *

Jim was frozen in place, "Bridge to Sickbay, get someone up here, stat!" He glanced around the room, looking at the same shocked expressions. "Sulu, get those shields up."

"Captain," Chekov turned in his chair toward Jim. "The beam is penetrating our shields."

"Then we need to get rid of that beam," Jim snapped back, more out of exasperation than irritation. "Are we still being probed?" he asked the helmsman, who shook his head.

"The beam is localized around Commander Spock and Doctor McCoy. No other ship locations or systems are being scanned."

"It just wants them," he murmured to himself, then called out in a loud voice. "Someone track the trajectory on that probe, tell me its point of origin. I want to know who or what is scanning my First Officer and CMO," he added, grimly.

 

* * *

  
**One year...**

Leonard was in his office when he heard the front door unlock and open. _Spock._ Leonard didn't rise to greet him, or go see what Spock was doing - in fact, he knew Spock's routine by heart now.

Spock, or Savas as he was known here on Rosong, returned each day at the same time, late afternoon. He dropped off the leather bag that carried his important papers and tablets onto the table in the foyer and checked any messages that arrived for him. Even from the other side of the house, Leonard knew Spock would walk into the kitchen, look around suspiciously for some surveillance device, using a personal scanner that he'd created to check for bugs or cameras.

Then he'd pour himself a glass of water, walk toward through the living area, past the house that was supposedly theirs, and head outside into the backyard, not stopping until he reached the small wooden workshop outside. Leonard thought it was the only place Spock felt safe on this whole planet.

Standing, Leonard looking around the office that he'd spent the most part of the last several months. Nothing cold or sterile about this room, with the large brown wooden desk, leather sofa behind it (comfortable enough to sleep on, he'd discovered on several nights), and photographs around the room of people that were supposed to be his family and friends. A few of him and Spock, supposedly from a vacation taken while they were dating, waterfalls in the background, smiles on their faces. The warm look on their faces unnerved him more than anything else here.

Because for all the comfort of this large house, Leonard still walked through it as paranoid as Spock. It wasn't his house, despite what the deed he had found with his paperwork told him. Leannan, son of Tor and Tana, recent husband of Savas, physician and instructor of occasional class at the city university, which is where they presumably met. None of this felt real.

 

Dinner was quiet, as dinners between them always were now. Leonard had gotten used to putting together a simple meal at the end of the day, and for all their mutual suspicions, every night they sat and ate together. Leonard watched Spock eat the vegetable portion of the dish and wondered when it changed for them, when Spock had stopped trusting him with his thoughts and concerns.

"Long day?"

Spock looked up, taking a bite from his plate, then returned to eating his dinner. It was almost a joke, if anything about this situation could be construed as funny. Rosong spun rapidly about its axis, so the days were very short, passing quickly but steadily.

Whatever this was, where ever they were, it hit Spock the hardest. The Rosong were humanoid, just enough differences in their physiology to keep Leonard busy for the first few months, 'learning' what he was supposed to know as one of the colony's only healers. Both he and Spock were physiologically Rosong, so in addition to everything else, Spock was dealing with the loss of certain Vulcan traits, such as his touch telepathy. Leonard supposed he still kept his deep control over his emotions, since he hadn't seen Spock break down or get angry or anything like that.

Spock was just...quiet.

Didn't talk, didn't speak much, didn't trust anyone, including Leonard. They had worked together during those first weeks after the switch, trying to determine whom among the Rosong was watching them, who wanted information from them. But for the last few months, Spock wasn't inclined to tell Leonard much beyond what information Leonard asked about. "I managed some time in the university's network terminal," Spock finally said, his voice low and quiet. "I attempted to enter the computer database, but I was unable to get past their firewalls with my credentials."

"No luck?"

Spock looked up at him. "I found the same information that was previously afforded to me." Spock was convinced that the secret to why they were taken was somewhere in the university, where he taught advanced level chemistry classes, and that he would find the clues to who had done this and what they wanted with him.

When they finished, Spock helped clear the table, while Leonard washed the dishes. "There's something there on that plate," he told Spock, pointing at the counter. "Mina sent those home with me today."

Spock looked at them carefully before trying them, like a lemon bar but made with a tart fruit common to Rosong. "There is a note here," Spock looked down, reading it. " _For your special day,_ " he said, taking a small bite, finding it pleasing, and taking another.

"Oh yeah," Leonard glanced back, putting up the last of the plates. "Today. It’s the anniversary of our bonding." He'd been surprised earlier to realize so much time had passed. One year they'd been here.

Spock looked slightly shocked, a look Leonard rarely saw. "I hadn't realized..."

"Hard to believe, isn't it?" Leonard leaned back against the counter, looking a little lost in his thoughts at how much time had gone by, and how fast it seemed to go. "I wonder how much longer we'll be here," Leonard reached over, taking one of the fruit bars. "At least these are good," he sighed, and stuffed the rest in his mouth. Just a small thing, a simple treat, but it made him smile. "I oughta see if I can get the recipe outta her, right?" he grinned, feeling a little lighter as the sweetness hit his tongue.

But Spock just glared at him with cutting eyes. "I am glad you can see something amusing in the situation."

Fuck. "It's not about being funny, Spock, its about – this is our life right now," Leonard didn't know how else to explain it, his inability to focus every second of the day on their situation. He couldn't, not when there were people who needed him. "I can't spend every moment of the day angry about what happened. " Spock began walking away, shaking his head. "I'm just saying, this isn't exactly a prison situation. I am tired of being miserable all the time."

Spock stood still in his tracks. "Are you able to leave this planet and return to your previous life?" Spock demanded, his voice rising for the first time in month as he turned to face Leonard. "Simply because you are not being tortured does not mean that we are not prisoners here. This is not my home. You are certainly not my..." Spock stopped, turning away.

"No, I'm not," Leonard gruffed, not sure why his feelings were hurt. This past year, it had been Spock at his side, the only person he really knew on this planet, and now even Spock didn't trust him anymore. They should be working _together_. "And you think this has been easy for me? I lost everything too. My life is back there. My _daughter_ is back there," he growled loudly. "Who knows what she is thinking, that I abandoned her again. But I know that Jim will never stop looking for us. And until then, I am going to wait here and try not to get into too much trouble."

"Yes, Doctor, just sit there and wait. In the mean time, I will be working to return us to the _Enterprise._ " Spock turned on his heel and headed outside, the back door slamming behind him.

Leonard hated this feeling. Bad enough they were stuck here on this planet. Now, more often than not, the one person here he should be able to talk to seemed to hate him.

Great.

After he finished with the kitchen, Leonard poured himself a glass of an almond-tasting liqueur that he'd come to enjoy. He spent an hour watching the entertainment programming on the video monitor in the living room, wondering at the spaciousness of the house. For a prison, it was a really nice one, and he could see how maybe, if he were alone here on the planet, it might be easy to fall into their trap, to believe that this big house was really his.

But they made a mistake when they took them both. He had Spock, and Spock would never fall for this sort of sham, perfectly arranged as it was. The news programs ended, and Leonard looked over at the back door. Spock was still outside, and according to the newsreader, it was going to be chilly tonight.

Leonard pulled a warm sweater out of the closet and walked out the back door, across the patio where he'd suddenly found himself a year ago, that night they arrived. A tree sapling had been presented to them that afternoon, a traditional symbol of Rosong celebrations, and Leonard glanced down at it, small and leafy in its container. It would be time to plant it in the ground soon.

It was quiet tonight, the breeze cooler than it had been the last few weeks. Winter was coming, he knew, their second freezing season here on Rosong. As he walked back toward the small wooden workshop that Spock used for his tinkering, Leonard wondered about getting the clinic ready for those winter maladies that seemed to be universal among children.

Leonard always smiled when he entered Spock's workshop, almost as if the man had remade his Science labs here for his purposes. He could see a small computer terminal glowing in the dark, some mechanical devices that were being taken apart, notebooks filled with scratchy writing... but no Vulcan. "Spock?" he called out, looking around.

Occasionally Leonard heard soft music wafting out of the workshop, high and light, a small flute ("It is a piccolo, Leonard.") that Spock had found among his possessions. But tonight there was only silence. "Spock?" he repeated again.

For a moment he didn't hear anything and was about to leave when a voice came from out past the shed. "I am here."

Leonard walked through the building to find Spock sitting in a chair, looking into a small telescope and making notes into one of his journals. Dropping the sweater on Spock's lap, Leonard rested a hand on the back of Spock's chair. "Find anything?"

"There is nothing that I see that counters the Rosong databanks." For the first time in months, Leonard heard a tone of resignation in Spock's voice, and that more than anything worried him. "I had hoped that perhaps, I could find some proof of where were being held, what star system this planet belongs to. I had hoped that perhaps..." Spock hesitated.

Leonard finished his sentence for him. "...they might not be able to change the sky."

"Something like that," Spock answered, a tiny quirk on his lips.

"Maybe something will turn up tomorrow," Leonard replied, feeling none of the optimism of that statement. The days were passing, and if the Rosong wanted information from them, they were slow to demand it. Nothing so far had been asked of their previous lives, no interrogations, no curious nudges from Kaymin or Mina, the two closest people in Leonard's life here on Rosong.

Apart from his husband. Leonard took a deep breath of the cool evening air. "Well, I'll leave you to your work." There were no close neighbors on either side of their parcel of land, no lights other than their house to mar Spock's star gazing. "I'll see you tomorrow," he added, and headed back into the house. He didn't wonder anymore about where Spock would sleep. Sometimes he stayed out here. Sometimes Leonard stretched out on his office sofa, or woke from the large bed in their room to find Spock sprawled on the other side.

But they never went to sleep at the same time.

A voice stopped him in his tracks. "Who am I?" It wasn't the question that startled him. They asked each other that very question every day, guarding against the moment when they might change, when whomever had taken them managed to break their minds and memories, made them believe they truly were Leannan and Savas. _Who am I? Who are you?_

Each time, Leonard would answer "You are Spock. You are the First Officer on board the _Enterprise_. You are Vulcan." Tonight he added, "And you’re gonna get us home."

Spock stared at him in the dark, eyes shining back at Leonard as they looked at each other. After a moment, Spock turned, adjusted his small telescope, and returned to looking up at the stars, and Leonard went inside and put himself to bed.

* * *

Chapel ran onto the bridge, her eyes widened as she spotted Spock and McCoy on the floor. Jim grabbed her arm as she knelt beside them. "No touching," he told her, shaking his head. "Spock was being scanned by that probe, fell to the floor and Bones touched him. Same thing happened. Can you tell me what’s going on with them?"

She pulled out a scanner, began running it over their heads. "No evidence of injury or trauma. Readings are normal, all vital signs stable."

"Bones noted some elevated brain activity."

Christine nodded. "There is increased activity in the cortex," she murmured quietly, agreeing with McCoy's assessment. "There is corresponding pattern between their scans. Whatever is happening is affecting both of them identically." Then she frowned.

"What?" Jim asked, seeing her look worried. "Are they okay?"

"I think so. It’s just -" she hesitated, "it looks as if they're attached to each other right now as well."

At that moment more security entered the bridge, phasers at the ready.

"Attached?" Jim asked, incredulous. "This beam has created a link between them?"

"It's just a guess, a hunch," she said, looking like she very much wanted to do more. "Captain, with your permission, I'd like to try and move them-"

"Negative," he told her. "I lost Bones when he tried to work on Spock. Not losing anyone else until we figure out what is going on."

* * *

  
**Three years...**

 

"No other patients today," Mina told him, reviewing her digital notepad. "But tomorrow, they're starting early, and stacked up all day. Looks like a couple long surgeries day after tomorrow. I'd get your rest the next couple of days," she grinned at him.

"I'll try," Leonard told her with a warm smile, sitting across from her at his office desk, tapping the information into his computer terminal. The clinic was quiet, the rest of the staff gone for the afternoon.

"Is the professor still working out in the yard?" Mina asked as she stood, a curious smile on her face. She'd been out to their house a few days ago, giving Leonard a ride home since his transport wasn't working, and had seen Spock out in the back, building some sort of platform.

"That hobby of his," Leonard told her, giving her a carefully casual grin. Spock had been spending more and more time outside, now that the weather was nice again. "He mentioned bringing home a more powerful telescope one of these days."

"My husband is like that, always taking his work home. Of course, he's a baker," she laughed, "so that's not always so bad." Leonard agreed, having grown accustomed to his favorite nurse bringing in baked goods and snacks. "Why, speak of the devil," Mina grinned, looking behind Leonard.

Spock was standing in the doorway to his office, wearing some casual clothing, jeans and a t-shirt. Leonard grinned at him. Spock never reminded him so much of the old days as when he looked out of place, even here. "Hello," Leonard said, offering a genuine smile at the sight. "What's going on?"

Spock nodded politely at Mina before answering. "I require your assistance. Is it possible for you to join me for the remainder of the afternoon?"

Leonard turned to Mina, knowing full well who was truly in charge of his medical clinic. "Go," she said, pushing them both at the door. "Be well. Have a good time."

Leonard followed Spock outside, curious. "What's going on?" he asked. Spock glanced back at the back of his transport, where Leonard noticed a huge wooden crate, and some other smaller boxes. "Heavy lifting? You want me for heavy lifting?" Leonard mused, getting into the front seat. "You need some cheap manual labor?"

"Hardly cheap, Leonard," Spock answered as they made their way out of the city toward their home. "I am certain you will demand something in exchange later." But there was no malice in Spock's voice.

These days, they lived a peaceful, almost pleasant co-existence together. Spock always answered fully whenever Leonard asked about his research or theories into what had happened to the two of them. But Leonard found himself asking less and less now.

Not that he wasn't still curious. It was just – he always seemed too busy to be worried about it. "Play that song for me later, the one I like, and we'll call it even." Something about Spock when he played his small flute, it made Leonard smile to watch. Spock would let his worries and troubles fall for just a moment and concentrate on the act of making that sweet music. Something changed in Spock when he stopped worrying about his troubles.

Then again, something had changed in Leonard. Over the course of the past three years, he'd found himself more and more at home here on Rosong. It wasn't that he didn't want to go home – not a day past that he didn't think about Joanna, and the _Enterprise_ , and his life back home. But there was a life here, as well. There were friends, and co-workers, and patients, and a job well done.

And there was Spock, strange as it might seem. Spock had become a significant part of Leonard's life, and it was hard to imagine life without him.

 

An hour later, the two men were in the backyard of their home, Leonard holding the scope steady while Spock bolted it into the platform. "So where did you pick this up?" he asked.

"The astronomy department," he told them. "An exchange was made. I offered Professor Fennis some additional time in the advanced chemistry laboratory for this, as they recently purchased a new one."

"How's it been going?

"How has what been going?"

"Your work. Anything happening?" Leonard asked, watching Spock anchor the large stand into the wooden base.

"My hobby, as you have called it, has gotten the attention of some of my department staff. A chemist, dabbling in astrophysics." Spock's lips quirked. "I've been called to answer the occasional question among my peers."

"Do you think they want to know about... us? Where were are from?"

Spock stopped working, looked up for a moment before answering. "So much time has past. Their questions seem to have nothing to do with where were are from." Laying out all his various lenses and tubes, Spock regarded them for a moment, then continued. "There is a genuine curiosity about charting their existing star system. The cartography isn't the same. I could not say where to look or what to find."

"You don't think its suspicious, the chemistry professor becoming so interested in star-gazing?"

"On the contrary," Spock answered, wiping his brow as the sun began to beat down on them. "I merely tell them that you purchased my first telescope for me as a bonding gift, and they all seem to find that... sweet." Spock smiled to himself, as if pleased with his minor deception. "It ends all questions regarding my curiosity."

A feeling settled in Leonard's stomach when Spock smiled like that, when all the worry lifted off him, and he looked happy.

It made Leonard happy, too.

"In fact," Spock continued, "I've been asked to participate at a gathering with the northern colonies, discussing Rosong's potential space exploration program, next month in Ta'lath."

This surprised Leonard. "You were? What will you say?" he asked, more than a little curious. Could this be what they were brought here for?

But that didn't seem to worry Spock. "I am not certain. I am almost positive I am not being asked to attend for any information I currently possess. I genuinely believe that they are interested in my recent proposal to create a stellar cartography concentration at the university." Spock sat down on the grass, leaning back on one hand. "In all truth, with the limitations of the technology here, I do not know how I could do more to explain to them what it is we know." Picking at a blade of grass, Spock's voice dropped. "If they possessed the technology to bring us to this system, I cannot believe they would not be asking me such simplistic questions."

That last statement seemed so final to Leonard – that they hadn't been brought here. That it had been something else, some quirk of the universe. That the Rosong would not be able to assist them in returning home, even if they were provided with any or all information.

All of a sudden, an idea struck Leonard. "You know, if you leave, it will be the first time since we got here that we'll be apart."

Spock used a small cloth to polish a large lens before he attached it to one of the tubes."I cannot imagine why that would bother you."

Something about Spock's tone bristled inside him. "I didn't say it would bother me. Just... fuck, never mind." Picking up the bits of wood and packaging, Leonard turned and headed back into the house.

"Leonard." He stopped, turning back to Spock's voice. "Upsetting you... it was not my intention." Spock put down the lens and walked toward Leonard, not speaking, but looking into his face carefully.

"I know. I'm just... it’s okay."

Spock's face stilled, reminding Leonard of that stoic Vulcan he'd once known. "As long as you are not upset." Returning to his telescope pieces, Spock was soon engrossed in his work, back to normal.

Leonard watched for another moment, wishing that he could say what was in his heart right now. That yes, he _would_ miss Spock when he was gone. That he was proud of the man that Spock had become (perhaps had always been?) here on Rosong. It made Leonard happy in some strangely domestic way that the Rosong saw in his husband someone who was intelligent, thoughtful, and reliable.

His husband. For a long time, his roommate, now his friend, for the most part. It was good, what they had between them. Closer than they had ever been on the _Enterprise_.

To want more was asking for too much.

 

 

Soon it was night time. When it didn't look like Spock was coming in for dinner, Leonard made a couple of sandwiches for him. Grabbing a soft drink, he headed past the workshop toward Spock's new toy.

But no one was there. The telescope was unmanned, pointed at the sky, but the chair next to it stood empty. "Spock?" he called out, taking a few steps back toward the workshop.

Then, something caught his eyes. High in the night sky, white and flowing. It took a moment before Leonard recognized it for what it was - a kite. Leonard set the food on Spock's chair and followed the kite's tail toward its starting point. Spock, standing on the other side of the hill, holding a spool of twine. "What are you doing?" Leonard asked, the picture in front of him a paradox. Spock, _his_ Spock – dressed down in casual work clothes, flying a kite. "Where did you get that?"

"I found this in the back of the workshop." Spock turned back to look at Leonard, none of the joy that should have been on his face evident. "It had his name written on the frame, so I suppose it was mine, when I was a child. I thought..." he stopped, shaking his head. "I am not entirely sure what I thought. That perhaps if I flew it, I would understand him better."

"Understand who?"

"Savas. Whose identity I assumed. The man that everyone seems to know and depend on."

It wasn't lost on Leonard that Spock felt like this - he'd had those same thoughts himself. "Spock, you _are_ Savas, to them. You are the man they depend on, the man they respect and honor."

"It is a sham. All of it."

"Whether it is or not, whatever happened to us... its real now, Spock." He stepped toward Spock, trying to explain. "Can't deny that I haven't felt the same way sometimes."

Spock scoffed. "I doubt that. You have found your place here easily enough."

It occurred to Leonard that they never talked about this, the men they were supposed to be. "You wondered if you deserve their friendship, if the 'you' in the past was a better friend to some of them. If they were a better man, better doctor, better researcher."

"Yes..." Spock looked over at Leonard. "I wonder if Savas was a good husband, a good mate to you. Better than I have been."

Something inside Leonard stopped at those words. "I have no complaints about our life, Spock," he murmured.

But Spock said nothing, continued to let out string on his kite, setting it higher and higher. After a moment, Leonard heard him say, "You deserve better." Before Leonard could respond to that, Spock added, "I wonder where they are, Savas and Leannan. If they are living our lives somewhere. If they are content, where they are."

Leonard took another step toward Spock. "Are you content, where you are right now?"

Spock didn't answer right away. "In a way," he said eventually, before turning to Leonard. "I will never stop searching."

"I know," Leonard murmured behind him.

"There is something inside me," Spock kept speaking, looking back up at his kite. "Even if all aspects in my life were perfect, I fear I would still be searching for more. That I cannot be satisfied."

"What are you looking for?"

But Spock didn't turn around, kept gazing intently at the kite flying among the stars. "What I have always done. I am seeking the answers."

"Maybe the answers are right here, Spock, inside us." Leonard stood behind him, wrapping an arm around, pulling him close. It felt so good, so right. "Maybe... we just need to change the questions."

At that moment, a large gust of wind pulled the kite out of Spock's hands. "Oh," Leonard let go of Spock, stepping away to reach for the kite string, rolling on the ground.

But Spock didn't let Leonard move. "No."

"But your kite-"

"Let it go," Spock said, turning to hold Leonard in his arms. They were still for a moment, not moving, just looking at each other from this new, close perspective. Then, bending his head, Spock brushed their noses against each other, and Leonard leaned forward just enough to catch Spock's bottom lip with his own.

The kiss felt like it lasted an eternity. "I thought you had questions," Leonard murmured, heart racing, his eyes fluttering open after that soft kiss.

"I did." Spock's hands slid up Leonard's arms. "Stupid, meaningless questions. This is what I wanted." Then their mouths found each other, the slow slide of their tongues waking up something deep inside Leonard.

Making their way inside the house, Leonard began taking off his clothes as soon as they passed the backdoor. Spock unbuttoned his own shirt more slowly, careful to drape it across a chair before starting on his pants. Somehow they made it up the stairs, Leonard watching all this with affection before taking Spock's hand and pulling him close when they were both finally naked in their bedroom.

Leonard felt his legs hit the back of their large bed. Sitting down, he lifted his head up, nosing against Spock's abdomen as he caught Spock's dark eyes, full of hunger and need, looking down at him. He kissed all the skin he could reach, loving the feel of Spock's hands carding roughly through his hair until Spock pushed him back onto the bed and climbed on top of him.

Arms and legs tangling, they found each other on that bed.

 

A few hours later, Leonard woke up to find Spock's dark eyes watching him as they held each other. "Who am I?" he murmured, reaching out to touch that thick, black hair on Spock's chest.

Spock chuckled at the familiar question, the muscular chest under Leonard's head rising and lowering. "You are my Leonard," he answered quietly, his mouth on Leonard's dark hair. "You are also Leannan. You are a healer, no matter where you are." Spock's hand rested on Leonard's heart. "You are a good man, kind and gentle." A small smile crossed his face. "You are my husband, and no matter where we are, I will treasure you." Legs shifted, arms tightened, and they moved against each other, slow and passionate.

For the first time since he'd arrived here on this planet, Leonard felt at home.

 

* * *

 

"Can we beam them to sickbay?" Jim suggested, standing over the two men on the floor.

"I don't recommend that, Captain," Chapel replied, as the doors opened an M'Benga hurried inside, settling on the floor beside the nurse, who briefed him.

"I have to agree with Christine," Geoff told him. "As long as those beams are in place, the process of molecular decomposition and reconstruction-"

"Yeah, you're right," Jim agreed, sighing. That could be messy indeed. "I'm open to suggestions," he said aloud to the bridge crew.

"The probe should be destroyed, sir." Everyone turned to look at Sulu, making the suggestion.

"Phasers are armed and ready," Chekov added.

Jim looked at Geoff, who shrugged. "Not until we know what is happening," he told the captain. "Too dangerous."

"I've got an idea," Jim murmured to himself, then he walked toward the helm. "Take us out of range, impulse power." Sulu began slowly powering the ship away from the probe.

All of a sudden the scanner in Christine's hand began beeping loudly. Both Leonard and Spock twitched, then began shaking. "Stop it," she called out, shifting the scanner from McCoy to Spock and back again. "Their vital scans are erratic, the link with the cortex is fluctuating wildly."

Jim's eyes flared again, something close to panic, then settled into something harder, more steely. "Stop the ship!" he said, moving over to Sulu's station, as if to see the officer perform the task with his own eyes. Once the ship halted, everyone turned to see the two men on the floor return to their previous comatose state.

 

* * *

**Twelve years...**

It was dark already when Leonard walked into the door of his home. Surgery had run late, complications, but in the end the patient stabilized so he left instructions to call if anything happened. He was so hungry that he could have eaten anything, but the aroma coming from the kitchen promised something delicious. "I'm here," he called out, heading toward the smells.

Spock was stirring a pot, his hand moving in smooth even motions. _Always the chemist,_ Leonard thought as he slid behind Spock, kissing his head and trying to look down into the pot. "That looks good," he murmured, seeing Spock throw some pasta into boiling water.

"It will suffice," Spock replied in that smug way of his, leaning back slightly, and turning his accept another kiss from Leonard. "How is your patient?"

"Alive, for now. She'll have a long road ahead, though." Leonard stepped back and headed toward the sink, washing his hands. "And you?”

"I met with two scientists from the far colony, who have been tracking the A-4657, as I have." Savas' asteroid, the one they teased him about it at the university when he began worrying about its projected course near their star system.

"Have you come to any conclusions?" Leonard asked, setting the table as Spock put the finishing touches on dinner.

"It will be some time before we know for certain." There was speculation that it was going to travel close to Rosong, but it was still just speculation.

Dinner was quiet, comfortable, the end of a long day for both of them. Leonard cleaned his plate, and a second one (“Really, Leonard,” Spock murmured) before finally pushing back from the table. Spock stood, picking up his plate. "No, let me get that. You made dinner," Leonard told him. "I'll wash up."

Spock gave him a small nod of the head, thanking him, then began walking toward the closet. Leonard watched as he put on a heavy coat. "Are you going outside?" he asked, surprised. It was far cooler tonight than Spock normally preferred for his evening observations.

"There is some data that I need to gather."

Leonard's stomach tightened. "For the asteroid?" he asked, knowing the answer already.

There was a slight hesitation in Spock's answer. "...no." Leonard's face fell, and he turned back to the dishes. "This upsets you."

"No," Leonard replied. "Kind of. I don't know..."

Spock moved toward him, one hand leaning on a chair back. "I will not stop looking, Leonard. I am not apologizing for that."

"Clearly."

"You take this as a personal affront, and you should not."

"I just don't see the point anymore. Is it so bad here?" In that other place, they were alone. Here they at least had each other. In a quiet voice, he added, "Do you ever wonder... was it all real?"

Spock turned and looked at him, moving slowing in his direction. Leonard could see traces of age on Spock's face, lines in his face, some traces of gray in his dark hair. "Of course it was real. I know who I was, I know you who were." One hand, an older hand, touched Leonard's face. "Who you are still, even if you do not."

Leonard's arms wrapped around Spock. "Then don't go outside tonight. Come upstairs with me," he murmured against Spock's throat. "And show me."

He could feel Spock's body thrum with energy next to him. Leonard pulled Spock's coat off of his shoulders, dropping it on the back of their sofa as the two men made their way upstairs, the telescope forgotten for tonight.

 

The next afternoon was Leonard's weekly meet-up with his friend Kaymin. The first man Leonard met when he arrived that afternoon, he later discovered that the two of them had been boyhood friends, and that Kaymin had stood next to him when he and Savas pledged their lives together.

The years between that afternoon and this had brought more memories, ones that Leonard could now share. The birth of a second daughter to Kaymin and his wife Benet. Working together on projects for the town council. Barbecues and get-togethers for various birthdays and celebrations.

Tonight was their weekly meeting at the tavern, a couple drinks and catching up on the town gossip. It reminded Leonard so much of his friendship with Jim, this connection with someone he had grown to trust. A true friend.

Tonight they lingered long after they finished their drink, hoping that the rainstorm outside would blow away.

"You know, this reminds me of that storm when we were stuck on the roof of my parents' home and couldn't get down." Kaymin looked outside the window, shaking his head as the rain and wind lashed the trees outside. "Pelted by the rain, oh gods, my body hurt for a week, like I had been beaten."

"That's right," Leonard replied, feigning a look of remembering. "How old were we then?"

"A hell of a lot younger than we are now," Kaymin answered. "Sixteen, I think. Old enough to know better. A life time ago," he sighed. "How old are you now?" he asked, nudging Leonard.

"Fifty two later this year," Leonard answered proudly, "and as good as ever."

"Old man," Kaymin snorted. "I'll ask Savas about that."

"You go ahead. He'll back me up there." The night before had been amazing, the two of them still finding ways to surprise each other with the depth of their emotions, the need for each other.

But Kaymin just laughed. "I remember when you told me that he had sought you out one evening on campus, right after he moved here. The serious young scientist, wanting you to dine with him. I thought at the time that it would never work between you two." Kaymin rolled the liquid in his glass before finishing it. "But you've surprised me, the both of you." He hesitated, then continued. "Do you still have the dreams?"

Leonard told him once about his other life, like a dream he'd had. "Sometimes," he said honestly, the memories of his old life still inside him – just not as pressing. "But not for a long time."

"You've seemed calmer the last few years. More like your old self." Before Leonard could respond to that, Kaymin asked, "And Savas? How is he?"

Leonard snorted. "The same." He took another drink from his glass. "How are the girls?"

"Both fine, doing well. Elia is looking into different schools for her advanced studies. I think she wants to study science, like Savas."

"She's got the brains for it," Leonard answered. "And little Maryum?"

"My butterfly," Kaymin chuckled. "She's doesn't sit still in one place long enough to pick something."

"She's young, give her time," Leonard grinned.

"Time flies so fast." Just then, Kaymin's communicator went off. "Benet is done with her work. Time for me to go pick her up." His hand outstretched to Leonard's. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, old friend. Be well, Leannan."

He reached for Kaymin's hand. "Be well, my friend." A crack of lightning lit up the sky. "Drive safe."

 

Leonard waited a few more minutes before leaving, giving the worst of the storm time to pass by overhead. Spock was waiting for him at the door when he arrived home.

One look on his face told Leonard that something was terribly wrong.

 

Leonard McCoy had buried both his parents by the time he was twenty-eight. It wasn't the first time he'd been called to speak at a funeral, but it was the first time he'd felt this hollow inside at the death of a close friend.

"Kaymin was one of the dearest people I've ever met. Generous of spirit, never a harsh word about anyone." He spoke of the man he'd come to know, wishing that he could truly remember some of those stories about their childhood and their past together. "I treasure his friendship," he added, with a look down at the pair of small urns on the raised podium, "and I know I'll be lost without him."

He returned to his seat in the front, next to Kaymin and Benet's daughters and Spock. Another woman stepped forward after him, and began telling stories of Benet, who had died as well in the tragic accident that night. Leonard put his arm around little Maryum, who was sobbing silently while Elia seemed to simply lean against Spock, borrowing some of his quiet strength.

There was food afterward, a universal constant in grief, Leonard decided. People arrived at their house, the dining room table covered in dishes brought by friends who wanted to help in some way. Groups of people gathered, much as they had than night twelve years ago when they'd found themselves here, the night of their bonding. "Are the girls settled in?" Mina asked him, looking over at Elia, talking to some of her father's friends, shaking hands, suddenly looking much older than her fifteen years.

"I think so," Leonard replied. "Savas took them back one last time yesterday, to make sure they had all their belongings."

With no other family to take the girls in, adopting them had been a surprisingly easy decision to make. Despite the heartbreak of the situation, finding in Spock someone willing to take in these children, to raise them together had brought the two men closer in a way Leonard hadn't ever anticipated.

That night, after tucking Maryum into bed, he walked downstairs to find Spock and Elia cleaning the kitchen, tidying up after the last of their guests. "May I.." she asked, looking over at Spock, who nodded solemnly. Giving them both a sad smile, Elia headed out the backdoor, closing it quietly behind her.

Leonard must have had a look on his face, because Spock said, "She wants to use the telescope." Leonard nodded at this, not mentioning how important that bit of equipment was to Spock. To share it with someone, even as mature and capable as Elia – it meant something.

By now, Leonard had all but given up on being rescued. Twelve years since he'd been switched into this life, which in all reality wasn't a bad life at all. As time passed, the idea that they were being held by captors seemed less likely, and Leonard decided that whatever had taken them was one of those mysteries that might never be answered.

In the mean time – he'd made a life for himself here. Good job, comfortable home, the respect of his friends and co-workers, what every man really wanted, deep down. He'd found in Spock someone surprising warm and funny, when Spock allowed that side of him to show (or when Leonard finally opened his eyes and heart to see that side of him). Each year the love between them had grown, slow and strong like the tree that celebrated their bonding, now taller than all of them, bearing fruit every harvest season.

It wasn't like he never thought about his past life... it was just – there was too much to do now. His clinic was so busy that he'd had to hire another healer to help with the load. Savas' teaching load had increased to the point where almost all his personal research took place at home in his lab, now state of the art and customized to his exacting standards.

That night as they readied themselves for bed, Leonard wondered about the _Enterprise_ and his memories of flying through space in a star ship. On occasion, when he sat outside with Savas on their back porch and looked up at the stars, he wondered if Jim Kirk had any idea what happened to them.

Where ever the _Enterprise_ was, where ever his old friends and comrades were, Leonard wished them well. He still mourned for Joanna, wondering what sort of woman she'd grown up to be, but he knew that she'd be taken care of and loved by family. For him, that had to be enough.

* * *

"Captain." Jim looked up to see Lieutenant Pashmi looking at him from the Science console. "We've traced the probe's trajectory back to the Uralian system, about two light years away."

Jim's face wrinkled in thought. "Not Federation. Any inhabited planets in that system?"

"Not anymore," Chekov added, reading from his terminal. "There was a class M planet, Rosong, which once supported an industrial humanoid colony. But the planet no longer supports life. It appears to have been struck by a massive asteroid a thousand years ago."

Jim tried to understand that, and was about to ask more questions when Chapel stood and approached him. "I have an idea. I'd like to try stimulating his neurocortex. I believe that if I send an electrical shock through the pyramidal neurons of the isocortex, it will create a barrier that will at least separate Doctor McCoy from Commander Spock."

"That still leaves Spock linked to the probe," Jim told her.

"Yes," she admitted. "But it’s a start."

"Try it," he told, her, watching as she adjusted her scanner and began pointing it at Leonard's head. A few tense moments past.

Then she smiled.

"I think I've got him..."

 

* * *

  
**Thirty years...**

 

"Dad?"

"In here." Leannan's gravelly voice called out from his office. The room hadn't changed much since he first sat down behind his large desk, thirty years ago. Most of the photographs on the wall were the same, with more surrounding them, mostly of Elia and Maryum, more recent ones of their families, including little Kaymin, currently toddling toward Leannan. "Papa!"

"Hey there, monkey," he said, wrapping his arms around the little boy who threw himself at Leannan. "Umph, someone's getting big!" he said with a wide smile, standing to give Elia a kiss on the side of her head. "How are you, sweetheart?"

"Fine," Elia said, dropping her bag on the floor. "I wanted to see how you were," she added, looking at him with a worried look.

His face immediately fell. "What, did he call you?" Leannan asked suspiciously.

"He's worried. We all are." She sat down on the sofa, looking at him. "He said you can't breathe when you have these fits, and that you're weaker by the day. " She reached for his hand. "Have you seen anyone about it?"

"I'm a healer," Leannan snapped back at her. "I know when something is wrong."

"Not with you. You take care of everyone else, but never yourself."

He didn't answer, just pulled out his scanner from his medical bag, and gave it to little Kaymin to play with. Elia sighed, knowing that she wasn't going to win this battle. "You guys staying for dinner?" he asked her.

"Of course, " she said, standing and leaning over him, giving him a hug. "He loves you, that's why he worries. Why we all worry."

 

Dinner that night was quiet, Elia and Savas talking quietly about what was going on at the university. They were cutting funding for several departments, including Savas' deep space research funding. There was a big meeting they were all preparing for, Savas hoping to explain to the board that his studies merited a priority status. Leannan listened, enjoying hearing them discussing their work. It made Savas happy when Elia joined the university after graduation, working in his labs.

But as soon as Leannan started to say something, he began coughing, his chest tightening up as he sought out air to breathe. Elia brought him a glass of water while Savas reached for his back, holding him. "I'm fine," he repeated, trying hard not to look into their sorrowful eyes.

Elia chased him out of the kitchen when he tried to wash the dinner dishes, so he slowly walked outside, past Savas' workshop, to the chairs they kept next to the telescope. He found little Kaymin in Savas' lap, and watched as Savas pointed out the stars to the little boy. Leannan stood there for a few moments, then turned to go inside when he became chilled.

 

There was little talking that night as they readied themselves for bed. Savas pulled on his pajama pants, sitting on the side of the bed. "You are upset with me."

Leannan grunted. "I don't like you talking to Elia about me. "

"She was concerned. As am I."

"I'm fine."

"With me, Leonard, here, please be honest." Leannan looked up at the old, not often used name at the man who had shared this bed for three decades. Savas' hair was black and gray, elegant in a way Leannan's would never be, that expressive face full of worry lines. "You are ill, and will not take care of yourself. You leave us no choice but to worry."

Leannan sighed, laying down. He began coughing, rolling over to catch his breath. Savas moved quickly to his side, water in his hand, which Leannan took gratefully. Savas ran a hand over Leannan's head, his eyes full of sadness. "I will call Healer Munro tomorrow," he said, covering one of Savas' hands with his own. Old man's hands.

"Yes," Savas nodded, lacing their fingers together. "I will take you."

"You can't miss work, not right now."

"You are more important than work," Savas murmured in a soft, reproachful tone, touching his face, "and I will take you."

The next morning, Leannan woke up coughing violently. He felt weak and feverish, and every time he stood, his head began swimming, and he had to lay down again.

The next few hours were a blur. Sometimes there were people in the room, voices talking in hushed tones. Sometimes it was only Savas.

There was a cool washcloth on his forehead, and he opened his eyes. "Savas," he whispered.

He felt someone take his hand, a warm body behind him. "I am here," a voice murmured in his ear.

"Who am I?"

"You are my husband," he heard Savas whisper in his ear. "You are a healer, and a good man." An arm wrapped tighter as Leannan kept his breaths shallow, hoping to avoid that painful cough. "I have been proud to spend my life with you."

"I'm sorry."

"No," Savas murmured against the back of his neck.

"Yes. I should have..." He coughed again. "I should have helped you more, to get back there."

"It was not important, not in the end. "

"It was to you."

"My life here, with you, that was real. The rest of it, in space..." Their fingers laced together tightly. "That was the dream. "

"Yes," Leannan murmured, feeling weaker.

Savas shifted, looking truly scared now. "You are not well. I am taking you-"

"No," Leannan shook his head, reaching for Savas' hand, and not letting go. "Don't... want. Here," he sighed into the pillow. "Let me be here."

 

Leannan woke later, the room darker. He felt the bed dip next to him.

"Dad?"

"Sweetheart," he said, recognizing Elia's voice. Then another voice on the other side. Maryum. "Both my girls here..."

"Have you been happy, Dad?"

Something in the tone of Maryum's voice made Leannan's eyes open. "What?" he asked, trying to sit up, but failing.

"Have you been happy?"

"I couldn't have asked for a better life, " he told them, his voice a near whisper, "or better daughters."

"Thank you, for everything."

"Love you, baby girl. Both of you."

"We love you, too."

 

"We weren't expecting you, Leonard, you know."

Leannan opened his eyes at the voice. Kaymin?

His old friend, dead so long now... Even in the darkened room, he could see that Kaymin looked young again, the way he had so many years ago, even dressed the way he'd been the night they met. His wedding day. "What- what did you call-"

"The beam," Kaymin began, "it was meant to bring one person into our world, to live with us, learn about us. You were a gift, really. Commander Spock alone," Kaymin shrugged as he sat down on the bed next to Leannan. "I don't know if he ever would have acclimated. But with you here, becoming one of us... you made that happen and I wanted to thank you before you left us."

"You created this?"

"It was my idea, this construct." He looked around the room, out the window. "Savas is correct about the asteroid. This world, it will all end in about fifty years." His face looked contemplative, and a little sad. "When we sent the probe out into the skies, we had hoped it would find someone kind, someone who would learn about us, and come to understand who we are." Kaymin rested his hand on Leannan's chest. "We were overjoyed to find not only Spock, but you as well. You became one of us. You allowed yourself become Rosong, in every way possible."

"Probe?" Leannan murmured. His eyes were heavy, but he wanted to hear what Kaymin was saying.

"The probe you saw on board your ship."

"My ship?" he whispered. " _The Enterprise_."

"Yes," Kaymin nodded. "You and Savas – we hoped you will understand why we chose this way. Our civilization is long gone, destroyed by that space rock of Savas'. We knew it was coming, and were able to prepare for our end. But... we needed to know that someone would remember us, so we sent out a probe. It was our dream that you would take what you have learned and share it with your people. That we were here, that we existed. "

"Long ago..." Leannan tried to follow what Kaymin was saying. "This isn't real?"

"It's as real as you made it. You created a family here. You created a life out of nothing. That's pretty real," he added. "But if you’re asking about your other life, its still there, waiting for you." He took Leannan's hand in his. "Are you ready to go?"

"Savas," he answered. "Where is Savas?"

Then Mina walked in, thirty years younger, and sat on the bed next to Leannan. "We'll take care of Savas," she said. "He'll be along shortly."

"Mina," he repeated. So young, both of them so young.

"We are all so grateful to the both of you, for this gift. We know that a thousand years from now, people will know us, who were were, and we will be remembered."

"Don't want to leave him."

"You can't stay, Dad," Elia said, fifteen again, appearing out of nowhere, and pushing a tendril off his face. The room seemed filled with his family and friends, all of them so young again. "They're coming for you first. But he'll be with you soon. Promise me that you won't forget any of this, Dad."

"Won't forget."

"Close your eyes," Maryum whispered, a little girl dropping a kiss on his forehead. "When you wake up, you will be home."

"Home?" he murmured, harder to talk now. "I am home."

Then they were gone, and it was just the two of them. Savas was sleeping next to him, and Leannan reached out to take his hand. _Wake up and we're home_ , he thought to himself, remembering their words, and safe in that knowledge, Leannan drifted off into oblivion.

* * *

 

"I think I’ve got him," he heard a female voice. "Doctor, can you hear me? He’s blinking. Captain, come here and talk to him, see if he responds to you."

"Bones, can you hear me? Bones, say something."

 _Bones_? Leonard’s eyes fluttered, the bright light of the bridge shining down on his face. Then they focused and he saw a sight he’d nearly forgotten. "Jim?"

Jim’s face exploded in relief. "He’s okay," he called out, pushing his hair back. "Stay still, we’re gonna get you to Sickbay as soon as we can. Just need Spock to wake up, and-"

"Savas," Leonard lifted his head, trying to roll over to reach him, but he was weak, and he couldn’t lift his arms. "Savas!" he called out again.

"Bones!" He heard that name again, along with "Leonard!", felt arms around him. "We’ll take care of him, its okay," but one more push and he managed to slide himself over to where Spock was still laying. Leonard rested his head on Spock’s shoulder, reached for his hand.

The last thing he saw before he passed out was Spock’s eyes, looking back at him wide with shock.

 

Waking up in Sickbay, Leonard looked around, not speaking for a few minutes, not until someone noticed he was awake. The first thing he asked for was his medical chart.

It was unbelievable. According to what was written here, he’d been unconscious on the floor of the bridge for twenty-six minutes, and asleep here in Sickbay for another three hours. "Where is Commander Spock?" he asked, his voice rough and low.

"He left about an hour ago," Geoff M'Benga replied, looking at Leonard’s biobed readings. "Look, Doctor, I’d like you to stay here for the rest of the-"

But M’Benga’s words fell on deaf ears. Leonard sat up, ripping off the medical tunic they'd dressed him in and pulling on his uniform pants in front of everyone. Pausing in front of his office - _CMO of the Enterprise, you are the CMO, this is your office_ \- he turned around, looked back at the medical bay, then left, heading to his quarters.

It took Leonard a few minutes to find his way, the turns and corners unfamiliar to him now. But as the minutes passed, memories came back. Leonard found he could remember staff members names, personal passwords, and most importantly, where he stashed his bourbon. He was standing at the counter, two drinks in when the door to his quarters opened, and Jim barged in.

"Why aren't you still in Sickbay?" Jim asked, pulling Leonard over to the sofa. Leonard didn't answer, just allowed himself to be led. He sat and stared at Jim for several long moments, fingers wrapped around his glass. "He told me what happened," Jim finally said, looking carefully at Leonard's face. "That you two... he said it was like another life. Years there."

"Half an hour here?"

"Something like that..." Jim reached for Leonard's glass, took a swig from it. "Wanna talk about it?"

Leonard stared at the glass of amber liquid. "Yeah," he finally answered. "I mean, you'll have my full report in a-"

"Bones," Jim put the glass down, moved his two hands to Leonard's shoulders, and looked into his eyes. "Are you okay?" he asked, worried.

Leonard didn't know. _Bones_? Who the fuck was Bones? He’d been Leannan, sometimes he’d been Leonard, in their most private moments. Bones didn’t exist anymore…

But that familiar look on Jim’s face, familiar even after all these years. It had meant something to him, once, and probably would again.

"We brought the probe on board. Its mostly deactivated now, whatever programming it had has been turned off, and we can't figure out how to get it working. Not sure we'd want to," Jim admitted as he stood, and walked to the table. "But.... this was inside." He handed Leonard a small box. "Does this mean anything to you?"

Leonard didn't answer. He couldn't. Staring down at the familiar wood-grain pattern on the puzzle box, he touched the trigger mechanism and slid the top off, looking down at Savas' flute. Staring at the instrument, holding it almost reverently in his hands, he felt that part of him slip into place. How many nights had he listened to Savas play this, learning it, then playing for him and the girls. It looked _old_ , fuck, it was old. Savas- no Spock, this was _his_. It was real, some part of all that was real.

Jim seemed to notice the change in his mood. "I'll give you some time," he told him. "Whenever you're ready, you come find me." He put a hand on Leonard's shoulder. "You remember our chairs on the observation deck? They're waiting, whenever you want to talk about it." Those chairs, they'd been there only a few hours before from Jim's perspective.

For Leonard, it was a lifetime ago.

After Jim left, Leonard paced around his room. Catching a glance of himself in the mirror, he stopped and stared. The face looking back at him was unfamiliar, the science blue uniform like a costume that belonged to someone else. Unfamiliar face, younger. That angry, frustrated man he'd been this morning, before the probe. Was that who he was? Was this better, being that man again?

But the flute... that didn't belong to him. Leonard knew that as much as he wanted to keep it, to hold on to that small, precious memory of his life on Rosong, someone else on board this ship needed it more. Another quick glance into the mirror to make sure he looked presentable, and Leonard headed toward his door.

But as soon as he stepped outside he froze. Spock, standing in the corridor in his science blues, looking so young and serious, and nothing like the man he'd come to know and love on Rosong.

Somehow, that made this easier.

"Hey," he began, but stopped. Spock was looking at the flute. "I was going by your room, thought you might want this."

Spock remained silent, eyes locked on the flute. Seeing Spock so quiet was unsettling, so Leonard stepped back into his rooms. "Come in," he murmured, watching as Spock followed him inside. Why was this more uncomfortable that Sickbay, than Jim, than anything else? Hadn't they just spend the better part of thirty years together?

Was that two different people?

"Forgive me," Spock began, then reached out and touched Leonard's face. That soft gesture, Leonard closed his eyes and was hit with a wave of sadness and grief. All of a sudden, he understood. "How long?" he asked, covering Spock's hand with his own.

"Another three years." Spock took a step forward, allowing Leonard to skim the surface of his feelings. He felt the pain and anguish of those three years apart, feeling the impressions of Spock’s loneliness and grief. How much Savas missed his husband, and how empty things were after Leannan died.

"I’m sorry," Leonard murmured, pulling Spock closer into his arms. "I didn’t want- shouldn’t have left you."

"You could not help that," Spock told him, speaking into his shoulder. "I told myself, were I ever to find you again, if I ever had this, even for just a day," he sighed softly, "I would not let you go." His fingers drifted across Leonard’s skin, skimming the psi-points. "I can feel you," Spock murmured, eyes fluttering closed.

Leonard smiled, despite the hurt inside. "I don't know who I am anymore."

The look Spock gave him... it wasn't a smile, not quite, but something in his eyes made Leonard's heart ache. "This is you," he touched Leonard's heart, "and this," touching his head. "And this," Spock took their hands, and placed them over Spock's heart, lower on his torso.

"It was real," Leonard murmured.

"It was... to me."

"All of it?"

Holding the flute, Spock took Leonard's hand and walked them to his bed. They sat, and after staring at the small piece of wood for a moment, Spock lifted it to his lips and began to play the tune that Leannan had loved so much.

When he was done, he placed it on Leonard's night table. "This is only the beginning."

"Another lifetime?"

Spock nodded. "Together. Yes." They kissed slow, a first kiss like they'd had long ago, but with so much now between them. Leonard pulled Spock closer and they lay together for several hours not speaking, safe in the knowledge that wherever they were, this love between them would never change.

06.03.11

* * *

  


The Empty Sky (bonus missing scene)

 

Spock thought he understood death. Working so closely with humans, the Vulcan in his soul knew that their life spans were much shorter than his own. His own father had counseled him once, not to become so attached to his human friends. Coming from a man who had married a human, Spock had taken this advice with a grain of salt, an idiom Leonard was fond of repeating.

 _Leonard_... Spock never stopped thinking of him as that, though he came to understand that as time passed, his mate preferred his Rosong name. After his death, Spock had him buried here, on their land, just past the hill in the back. One night they'd flown a kite on this spot, kissed under the stars and began their life together in earnest. A night so many years ago.

"Father?" He looked over and saw Elia walking up the hill toward him. She touched Leonard's grave marker lovingly, and then sat down beside him.

When Elia was young and first came to live with them, she often called them by their Rosong given names. Spock took no offense to this, the girls having lived a substantial part of their childhoods with Kaymin, their true father. Spock had no desire to take his place in any way other than helping guide the girls through adolescence and into adulthood with as few problems as possible. But somewhere in that time he became Father, an honorific more than anything, yet a term he cherished more than he ever realized.

"Hello," he said, accepting the kiss on his cheek. "I was not expecting you."

"We needed to talk," Elia said, leaning against him, "and I knew you would be here." Looking out over the rolling hills past their property line, she sighed. "Its so lovely here."

"Are you well?" he asked, knowing that would have been the first question Leonard would ask them.

"I am," she said, giving him a special smile. "Are you?"

Spock considered the question. "I am adequate."

Elia gave him a frown. "That is hardly well, Father. You miss him," she said softly, looking over at the grave again.

"Of course," he answered quietly. Leonard's death had affected him deeply. The work, the work was always there, but now younger scientists had taken up his mantle and were pushing for the increased research into space exploration. New faces appeared in the labs every day, and sometimes Spock felt in the way rather than useful.

Still, better to be at work than at home, the ghost of his husband around every corner. Leonard's crooked grin. His sarcastic tongue. His habit of overcooking the vegetables... Spock missed it all, more than he ever imagined. Three years had passed, and not a day went by that Spock didn't come out here and sit, sometimes for a few minutes, sometimes for hours.

"You'll be with him soon."

Spock looked over at her sharply, curious about her statement and about to ask for an explanation when he looked down at the pendant on her necklace. A cylinder, arms extending out of the side. "Where did you get that?" he asked, his heart beating faster.

"You've seen it before."

He looked up to see a projectile lifting off into the atmosphere, leaving long white contrails behind, like the tail of a kite. "What is that?"

"It's the probe," Elia told him, taking his hand in hers. "The one you saw that day, on board the _Enterprise_. The day you came to us."

Spock felt his heart stop. "It was real."

"Yes," she smiled at him. "But then, you always knew that, didn't you? You never faltered, Father, never stopped believing in your heart that you might make it back there one day." She squeezed his hand. "It's come - the time for you to go home, back to your world."

"Time to go back..."

"We needed someone to tell our story. How we lived and loved, in peace and prosperity." She touched his shoulder lovingly. "You are that person. Someone who will speak for us now, so that the Rosong are never forgotten."

Spock shook his head. She was wrong. "That was Leonard. He-"

" _You_ are the teacher," she nudged at him gently. "You will explain and document every facet of our world, Father, in stunning detail. You ingrained yourself so much deeper than we imagined. Thank you." She touched his cheek, and whispered, "Remember us."

Spock took one last look around at the land, green and alive, before he felt his eyes grow heavy. They closed, just for a moment, and when he opened them, the scene had changed dramatically.

 _Leonard_. Leonard laying on the floor of the bridge, staring back at him, hazel eyes filled with confusion and worry. One hand outstretched to touch Spock's face. Spock caught it before Leonard's eyes closed, covering it over his cheek.

_I've got you._


End file.
